There's this constant temptation to act like a chameleon - to change and adapt to my surroundings, so that I meet my own and other people's expectations. To look the part. Judging by the number of songs, sayings and self help books written by people who say the same thing, I don't feel too stupid admitting to this.
Maybe you don't agree, but in my experience it seems a significant chunk of our lives is devoted to putting on a front. Style, music, photos, friendships and Facebook profile; we seem to be acting like public-concious, self-advertised celebrities.
You might say, so what? Showing off your good side is natural. And if it extends to a little bit of shallowness, what's the harm if no one can tell?
But what if actually there is harm? What if, even though no one told us, the stakes are high?
The reason I decided to write is this post is down to a speaker called Michael Ramsden. I was listening to him talk last night and he made a really interesting point that love and judgement are really closely entwined.
I was confused when he first said that, so if you are too I understand!
But his point was this.
If we're fake, no matter how many friends, family, partners and fans we have, the person they're attracted to isn't us. It's just an image, and they might not like the reality of who we are. As a result the room for loneliness in this picture is staggering, because there is no genuine acceptance. No unconditional love.
The opposite to this however, is breathtaking.
It's the guy that thinks his fiancée's crooked tooth is cute, even though she hates it. Or the kid who one day realises that their parents aren't right about everything, but still calls them their heroes. It's the best friend that goes jogging with you because you feel fat, and the sister that will pick up the phone even though its 1am in the morning.
It's the first person you call when something happens - good or bad. The judging panel that is always on your side, but with the guts to be honest too.
Judgement means they know the sum of you - good and bad, there are no surprises. Love means they celebrate with you at your best and love you through your worst.
It's beautiful.
Right in the middle of this, I realise how blessed I am. Because actually, I am surrounded by people who know the real me, and want to stick around and be my friend.
If I'm honest I'm secretly waiting for them to realise I'm not all that, and back off.
But everyday we share life and that doesn't happen is more amazing then the last. I spend a significant percentage of my life thanking God for my friends and family, because I have NO idea what I ever did to deserve such amazing people. They bring so much happiness and fun to my life.
So my question for today is this - who do the people in your life know?
You, or an image?
If you hold people at arm's length, believe me I know how scary it can be to let people into your personal space. But if people like the real me, with my million weaknesses and flaws, I promise they'll like you.
Each one of us is unique and inherently precious. We have value, and more to give than we realise. This kind of relationship isn't earned through entertaining people. It's built as you share glimpses of the most precious thing you have - yourself.
There are friendships that date thousands of years ago, that still get spoken of today. People who were so for each other, that we still tell their stories.
For a legacy like that, don't you think being genuine is worth it?
Thanks for reading,
Cat x
No comments:
Post a Comment